Writing Evaluations for ADHD & Introverted Members

Without Triggering RSD — and Without Losing Trust

There’s a moment in every evaluation where the pen gets heavy.

You’re not just documenting performance.
You’re shaping someone’s internal narrative.

For many neurodivergent members — especially those with ADHD or strong introversion — evaluations don’t land neutrally.

They land personally.

Because underneath the uniform, many of them carry something you may not see:

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).

RSD isn’t fragility.
It’s not ego.
It’s not “can’t take feedback.”

It’s a nervous system that processes perceived criticism as threat.

And if you don’t understand that — your well-intended evaluation can fracture trust faster than any discipline ever could.

What’s Actually Happening Internally

When you write:

“Needs improvement in communication.”

They may hear:

“You are difficult.”
“You don’t belong here.”
“You’re failing.”

When you say:

“You need to be more confident.”

They may hear:

“You’re not cut out for this.”

When you document:

“Struggles under pressure.”

They may internalize:

“You’re weak.”

The ADHD or introverted member often already questions themselves.

They replay calls at 2 a.m.
They overanalyze tone shifts.
They assume they’ve disappointed you long before you’ve said anything.

So when feedback is vague, global, or personality-based — it doesn’t guide growth.

It confirms fear.

The First Principle: Evaluate Behavior — Not Identity

Avoid identity language.

Avoid global statements.

Avoid labeling traits.

Instead:

Document observable behavior.
Anchor feedback to specific events.
Separate character from skill.

Wording That Triggers RSD

• “You lack confidence.”

• “You’re too quiet.”

• “You need thicker skin.”

• “You don’t speak up enough.”

• “You struggle with criticism.”

• “You’re not assertive.”

• “Communication needs improvement.”

These feel personal. Permanent. Character-based.

RSD-Aware Wording

Shift to behavioral specificity and growth framing.

Instead of:

“You lack confidence.”

Write:

“During multi-unit calls, you tended to defer verbal updates to others. Developing a habit of giving concise scene updates will strengthen command communication.”

Instead of:

“You’re too quiet.”

Write:

“In station discussions, you contribute less frequently. Your input during 1:1 conversations is thoughtful and accurate — increasing participation in group settings would allow the crew to benefit from your analysis.”

Instead of:

“Struggles with criticism.”

Write:

“After corrective feedback on IV setup, there was visible frustration. Continued work on processing feedback as skill refinement rather than personal judgment will support long-term development.”

Notice the shift?

The feedback becomes:
• Specific
• Situational
• Skill-focused
• Future-oriented

Not identity-based.

The Power of Pairing

For ADHD and introverted members, balance matters.

Not false praise.

But accurate acknowledgment.

Before documenting growth areas, anchor strengths.

Example:

“Demonstrates strong scene awareness and anticipates equipment needs effectively. Continued development in verbalizing decision-making in high-noise environments will enhance team clarity.”

You’re saying:

You are competent.
You are growing.
This is refinement — not indictment.

That distinction preserves trust.

The Documentation Upgrade

Here’s how to structure evaluations that reduce RSD activation:

1. Lead With Observed Strength

Ground the member.

2. Identify Specific Behavior

No generalizations.

3. State the Standard

Tie it to department expectation.

4. Provide a Clear Path Forward

Concrete, achievable action.

5. Reinforce Belonging

Subtly — but clearly.

Example:

“You demonstrate strong independent problem-solving and thorough patient assessments. On two recent calls, radio updates were delayed while you completed documentation. Department standard requires early transmission of patient condition. A strategy of pausing at the 60-second mark to transmit a brief update would align with that standard. Your clinical reasoning is solid — this adjustment will improve team coordination.”

That evaluation builds skill.

It doesn’t attack identity.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

When ADHD and introverted members feel psychologically safe:

• They ask more questions.
• They recover faster from mistakes.
• They take calculated initiative.
• They bring depth instead of withdrawal.
• They stay.

When evaluations feel like personal rejection:

• They mask harder.
• They speak less.
• They ruminate.
• They disengage quietly.
• Or they leave.

The cost of careless wording isn’t hurt feelings.

It’s lost potential.

Maintaining the Trust Factor

Trust with neurodivergent members is fragile — not because they are fragile, but because they are hyper-attuned.

They watch tone shifts.
They read subtext.
They sense inconsistency.

So consistency matters.

If you say:

“My door is open.”

But your evaluation blindsides them?

Trust fractures.

If you correct publicly but praise privately?

Trust fractures.

If you document personality instead of performance?

Trust fractures.

Trust isn’t built in the annual evaluation.

It’s built in the micro-moments before it.

The Leadership Mindset Shift

You are not writing about who they are.

You are writing about what they are practicing.

You are not judging identity.

You are coaching skill.

And for the ADHD introvert — that distinction changes everything.

Because most of them already hold themselves to impossible standards.

They don’t need harsher critique.

They need accurate calibration.

Reflective Pause for Leaders

Before finalizing an evaluation, ask yourself:

• Did I describe observable behavior?

• Did I avoid labeling personality?

• Did I give a clear path forward?

• Did I reinforce belonging?

• Would I be comfortable reading this out loud to them directly?

If the answer is no — refine it.

Evaluations should correct without crushing.

They should sharpen without shaming.

They should strengthen trust — not test it.

Final Thought

The quiet firefighter.
The analytical paramedic.
The ADHD probationary member who talks fast when nervous.
The introverted officer who processes internally before speaking.

They are not broken.

They are wired differently.

And when evaluations are written with precision and awareness —

you don’t just improve performance.

You build loyalty.

You build safety.

You build a crew that knows they can grow without being diminished.

That’s leadership.

And in a profession built on trust…

That’s everything.